k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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