Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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