Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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