I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
