There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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