My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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