I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
