Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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