WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
