I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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