I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
