i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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