A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize