ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
