so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
