Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
