WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
