I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize