her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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