I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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