Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
