Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
