His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
