So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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