I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It was like giving head to a cactus.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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