We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize