why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
