when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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