your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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