I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
