I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
