Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
