How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize