Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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