I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
