Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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