i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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