Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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