video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
