That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
