Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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