Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
