C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
