I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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