you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
