My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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