he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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