there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
