In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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