So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
