Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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