I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
