the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
