True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
