You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
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