i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
