"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
