Duck Duck Cougar?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Your penis caused this!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize