420 ftw
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
