I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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