just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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