When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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