Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
