we made out on top of his cat.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I need moral support for this bender
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
