i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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